The Rogue Won

The most excellent podcast The Movie Proposal recently covered Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and wisely gave it kudos as “the prequel we always wanted.”  However, as in all things Skye Jethani, there were concerns raised which he invited the listeners to address.  As Twitter is too remote to make an effective demonstration, I will briefly deal with our rebel friends soon enough. Right here.  Commencing primary ignition.

Was there too much fan service?

Blue milk. Mr. You Better Watch Yourself & Walrus Man. C3PO and R2. The Mouse Robot.  Gold Leader & Red Leader. Was it all just cheap fan service?  It might have been were it not for the fact that the movie is AWESOME. Also, this fan service wasn’t cheap. We, the fans, have given Lucasfilm billions of dollars over the last 3 plus decades, so fan service bought and paid for.  Enjoy your blue milk.  There’s a history, it’s ok to give us some nostalgia in the midst of our newfound moral ambiguity.

Is CGI Tarkin the Ultimate Fan Service?

I wondered this too, a little, since his CG self is amazing but not quite human, but it’s cool. Why? Because contrary to popular belief, Vader couldn’t have legitimately filled the role that Tarkin had in Rogue One.

Remember Episode IV? At that point in Star Wars history, Vader is basically a bully who likes to choke people, gestures too much with his hands, and is a bit of a close talker. Remember, Leia points out that Governor Tarkin is “holding Vader’s leash.”  Vader chokes a nostril flaring dude at a meeting, then Tarkin tells him to stop and Vader says to Tarkin, “I love you.”  (Well, he said, “As you wish,” but The Princess Bride taught us what that really means.)

In other words, Vader’s just not up to it yet.  Tarkin needed to be there and Rogue One pulled it off.  Yes, we’ll think it’s a lame effect 20 years from now, but that is the case with some of the effects in the original cut of Episode IV, and we still love that.

Should there have been an opening crawl?

I love the opening crawls in the Saga movies, but they’re admittedly cheesy and retro, and Rogue One is neither cheesy nor retro.  Also, the set up in the beginning would’ve made a terrible crawl.

CRAWL – Rogue One – A Star Wars Story

It is a period right after the most terrible Star Wars Movie.  There is a little girl named Jyn Erso who lives on a desolate rock with her mom and dad, but a mean guy from the Empire comes and kills her mom and kidnaps her dad to make him build the DEATH STAR, so she hides in a cave in a thing her dad borrowed from Hogan’s Heroes, then a gruff sounding guy named Saw comes and takes her away and it’s really, really sad.

Yeah, not great crawl material, but a great movie!  C’mon, Stardust… just enjoy the show!

(Yes, Skye, I just called you Stardust. Sorry about that.)

Be sure to check out The Movie Proposal podcast anywhere and everywhere you consume podcasts, including on YouTube.

P.S. This episode of the podcast contains the line, “Carrie Fisher isn’t dead yet” in reference to CGI Leia.  Ouch. Remind me to never allow Skye to say that JT Adkins isn’t dead yet. I perceive that you are a prophet?