This is me, living on the edge, THIS CLOSE to a Star Wars mask.
There is a great disturbance in The Force. As noted today by The Wrap, major theater chains have announced that Star Wars masks and weapons will not be permitted at the screenings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
Cinemark, the country’s third largest theater chain, announced, “Star Wars costumes are welcome. However, no face coverings, face paint, or simulated weapons (including lightsabers/blasters) will be allowed in the building.”
I could just rip the ears off a Gundark.
Apparently, this restriction comes to pass in response to theater shootings of recent years, particularly the shootings in which people were killed by silly masks, face paint, and tubes of glowing light. Remember those?
I do remember, however, a recent incident in which millions, yes millions of people seeking candy and other sweets took to the streets in masks and face paint and killed…no one. It happens every year.
I guess this means that the debate over the idea that “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” has been extended to “Guns don’t kill people, costume masks kill people.”
Here’s the droid I’m looking for: common sense. I guess it’s been totally blown away. Destroyed…by the Empire.
This would seem to rule out my plan to bring my Nazgul to Star Wars with me.
Thanks for reading! All of my wisest, wittiest readers sign up to get posts by email, just so you know.
If you’re a nice person, I’d love to hear your comments on social media.
If you’re not a nice person, reconsider.